Interview your Characters

[Nayeli]

DaW Interviews

What is the DaW Interviews? It is basically something that you bring your character(s) to and answer questions in full sentences. Why? Because I am going to put it on our Tumblr. That is right, DaW now has a Tumblr. It is kind of like a Newsletter, but a bit different. If you would like to do this, please post one character at a time. So, I will do my own Character first.

What is your name? My name is Nayeli Richards, Lady Nayeli Richards.
How old are you? I am twenty two years old and you would be good not to ask a woman her age next time.
What are you wearing? This is kind of a… Unneeded question, but I am wearing something most women do not wear. It is my training outfit. It is black, fitting very well to my form. It is long sleeve and most would say very modest. I am wearing black gloves to hid my hands in the dark and the neck area is not shown. It has buttons in the back so allow me to just pull it on without a problem. My pants are the same, they are form fitting, however, at the knee they flare out over my soft leather boots. Upon my hip is a dagger and up my left arm sleeve is another dagger. I also have one in my boot.
What color is your hair and how do you wear it? My hair is straight black, but I have it pulled back into a tight, neat pony tail most the time to keep it out of my face.
What color are your eye? My eyes are a beautiful ice blue and I have been told that they feel cold when someone looks into them.

What is your job? My job? I make sure the empire runs as smoothly as possible. Since my uncle sits in his chambers most the day, I have to take charge. But, I am also the Countess of Carvala, so that is one of my first priorities.
What do some of your duties that you do? Well, I have to make sure the people of my city are taken care of. I meet with some of the farmers on certain days and then I meet with our armies to make sure they are ready in case anything happens. I also meet with the elves to keep the peace within’ the empire. Most recently I have been trying to plan a royal wedding for my younger sister, Leilani.
Who do you trust out of everyone in the land? My brother, Turin, is my right hand man. Though we are siblings and don’t always see eye to eye, I take his words to the heart.
Who do you fear most in the land? Fear? I know little of it, but if I had to worry about a certain group it would be the Hand, which is a religious group. I do not particular care for them. Other than that, the elves, but we all know that the elves and humans are at peace and going into another war with them would prove fatal on both ends.
What do you think of the riders? The Riders? A bunch of low down elves with rats. They seem to care little for their own race and allowed a war to drag on for years before it came to an end. If they do not wish to involve themselves then they need to leave this land and do not involve themselves with anything else.
What do you think of the Elves? They think they are very high of themselves and it gets rather annoying. They are a strong bunch and I do not plan on trying to start another war with them. The world might be better without them and their magic, but I doubt there is anything I could do about it.
What would you like to see happen in your country/race? I would like to see more trading with other countries and would not mind expanding some to other lands to help them. Though it would mean war to expand, it is something I am very intrigued about.

Have you ever been in love? No… I find love as a weakness and honestly doubt anyone would love someone who is a trained assassin and who is very independent.
What is your dream? Just to succeed. I will be queen one day I am sure, I want to see my land prosper for years to come.

[b]What is your name?[/b]
[b]How old are you?[/b]
[b]What are you wearing?[/b]
[b]What color is your hair and how do you wear it?[/b]
[b]What color are your eye?[/b]

[b]What is your job?[/b]
[b]What do some of your duties that you do?[/b]
[b]Who do you trust out of everyone in the land?[/b]
[b]Who do you fear most in the land?[/b]
[b]What do you think of the riders?[/b]
[b]What do you think of the Elves?[/b]
[b]What would you like to see happen in your country/race?[/b]

[b]Have you ever been in love?[/b]
[b]What is your dream?[/b]

[Emma]

HERE IS MINE. Now, due to my muse-death, if you were expecting mine to be amusing or vaguely entertaining you better bet you'll be sorely disappointed. Humour is not the Emma's strong point. Nevertheless, I did enjoy writing this insanity, and it's just for fun, so, huzzah! Plus, considering how absurdly long it is, I doubt anyone will actually read it all. =P

(Nighttime. After panning through a bizarre world full of meme quotes, video games, unspeakable perversions and pie, the camera zooms in on the theoretical center of this diabolical world. It is the grand ‘Wipe Castle’, an ivory-white fortress with a toilet-seat drawbridge, a tower shaped like a bowl, and toilet-paper parapets. At least it doesn’t have a moat. In the throne room of this supposedly grand castle that totally wasn’t ripped off a certain animated series, we see a bizarre creature stuffing her face with Jamaican patties. The creature appears to be the ruler of this horrible place, as noted by the crown of porn upon her head. She is pink, absurdly tall, and appears to be some kind of mutant. She stretches her feet out by the fireplace and waves,)

Queen DilEmma: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the series of Emma-Character-Interviews! For YOUR enjoyment, amusement, and so you don’t have to drag your lazy arses to my profiles just to see what my characters are like, I shall interview each and every one of my MANY psychopaths. For the purpose of this interview, all of my folks have been imprisoned- I mean, um, ESCORTED into the holding cell- WAITING ROOM! Where they will be tortured- DAMMIT!

(Across the room, the radiators- the actual source of the room’s heat, who the crap has a real fireplace these days?- make an ominous tapping sound, followed by the low hiss of ‘Kiiilll herrrr…. Killlll Emmaaaa…’ At the noise, Queen DilEmma nervously adjusts her collar.)

Queen DilEmma: … I think I’ll just skip the intro for now and get straight to business! Our first guest, who was by far one of the most difficult to sedate, is a Rider well-known for her absurd hair colour, bad temper and being vertically challenged. Of my many minions, she is the most popular by far. Please welcome… Mnemosyne Megara Ramsey!

(A hammer flies across the room from off-camera, nearly hitting the Queen.)

Mnemosyne: NEMO RAMSEY! It’s NEMO RAMSEY, YA GREAT STONKIN’ DAUGHTER OF A-

Queen DilEmma: RESTRAIN HER!

(Punching sounds, cries of pain, and then silence from off-screen. Then, a remarkably short woman with a heavy Cockney accent, placed in a straitjacket, is unceremoniously dumped in the chair opposite the Queen’s by two burly servants. She struggles against the bindings.)

Mne- er, Nemo Ramsey: COME ‘ERE SO I CAN REDECORATE THE ROOM WITH YER INNARDS, YA BLOODY-

Queen DilEmma: Madame, there is no need for rude language. There could be CHILDREN reading this. ANYWAY. Let’s begin with our interview!

Nemo: I REFUSE to participate in yer bodgy, thrice-damned-

Queen DilEmma: That’s a shame. Because, you know, your dragon will be my next victim. The longer this takes, the longer it will take for me to torment him.

(Nemo seems to be mollified by this. She settles back in her chair with a grunt.)

Queen DilEmma: So, Nemo, how old are you?

Nemo: Two hundred and eighty. I’d reckon that’s TWENTY-EIGHT in yer teeny human lifespan.

Queen DilEmma: Noted. So tell us, Nemo, what kind of clothes do you wear?

Nemo: I got two sets o’ clothing. TWO. See, on a ship, ya never take anything y’ain’t prepared ta lose. There’s me black leather armour, and me boiled hide armour. And this here hat. Ain’t it a beauty? (She tilts her head, giving the camera a better view of her faded black felt fedora.) This’s been with me since afore I can remember!

Queen DilEmma: Fascinating! Why don’t you describe your appearance for our visually impaired readers?

Nemo: Visually imp- bloody hell. Me mum’s from Saxony, where I got me orange hair and green eyes. I’d reckon me da was from the Mahara, by me skin and facial features.

Queen DilEmma: VERY exotic. And how tall are you?

-THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY ORDER OF PROBOARDS DUE TO EXCESSIVE VIOLENCE AND FOUL LANGUAGE.-

(Nemo has now somehow been placed into TWO straitjackets, and Queen DilEmma seems exhausted and very weak.)

Queen DilEmma: I’ll be a little more careful from now on… Miss Ramsey, why don’t you explain your job to your loving fans?

Nemo: Imma Rider.

Queen DilEmma: And… care to expound on that further?

Nemo: FECK. NO.

Queen DilEmma: Okay… obviously another sore point. Why not tell us a little about your dragon?

Nemo: FOR FECK’S SAKE!!! DON’T REMIND ME! I NEVER WANTED TO BE A GODDAM RIDER AND NOW I’M STUCK WITH THAT SUNUVABITCH OVERGROWN LIZARD THAT’S ‘BOUT AS CHARMING AS A RAT THAT’S BEEN DEAD THREE FECKIN’ DAYS!!! I WILL CRUSH HIM, KILL HIM, END HIM, AND LEAVE HIS CORPSE FOR THE CROWS TO EAT!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

(The force of Nemo’s anger has left the room in chaos. Queen DilEmma seems to realize that perhaps this interview wasn’t the best idea.)

Queen DilEmma: -cough- Ahem… so… it’s safe to say you don’t confide in your dragon. But if you aren’t able to love and accept your life-partner, then who DO you trust?

Nemo: Me. (She suddenly looks depressed.)

Queen DilEmma: Are you afraid of him?

Nemo: Afraid? HAH! I’m more scared of me own FEET!

Queen DilEmma: So you’re not afraid of anything? Don’t you have any weaknesses?

Nemo: Nope! Except magic, but that’s nothing me hammer can’t solve. Like this one time, when Ikehr was a wee baby, and some bollocked elf tried’a KILL him. He was so close to killin’ MY dragon, MY dragon that I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT, but I saved him, obviously, with a blow to the bastard’s brain. So no, I got no weaknesses whatsoever!

Queen DilEmma: -facepalm- And what are your likes and dislikes?

Nemo: I love sailing, hats, my hair, steak, scones, and booze! As for what I HATE, well…

-This part of the interview was cut out due to excessive length and even more foul language. It is safe to say that if it exists, Nemo probably wants to kill it.-

Queen DilEmma: Since we’re running out of time, I’ll ask you two more questions before sending you back to the fiery pits of… of the waiting room. What is your goal in life? Your purpose?

Nemo: What is my GOAL? What is my PURPOSE? I wanna prove that I AIN’T just a liability to the Varden, an’ that just ‘cause Imma Rider DON’T MAKE ME THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

Queen DilEmma: Fantastic! And before we wrap up… what is a quote that you believe should be shared with the world?

Nemo: Were ya born a stonkin’, tossin’, bodgy, bleedin’ gobshite or didja hafta work on it?

Queen DilEmma: … Nemo Ramsey, everybody! Now, vote for who you’d like to see interviewed next week!

Nemo: Vote?! YOU SAID MY DRAGON WOULD BE NEXT, FECKFACE!

Queen DilEmma: I also said that you should be sedated in case of further violence. (The camera zooms in on the Queen just as more violent noises erupt from Nemo.) Thank you for reading this far, and see you next time on Emma-Character-Interviews!

[Elaniver]

What is your name? Elaniver

How old are you? 35

What are you wearing? Please, you have eyes. No doubt you’ve had eyes for most of your life, if you could attempt to tear your gaze away from my crotch and take in my kick-ass robes you would understand that all other bits of clothing are irrelevant. Do I wear trousers? Yes, do I wear shoes? Yes, but they have nothing on my robes.

What color is your hair and how do you wear it? Wear your hair? What on earth do you mean by ‘wear’ it? It isn’t as though I take it off when no one’s looking, put it on a dummy and pretend to talk to it...

What color are your eye? Orange, as you can see...not that observant are you?

What is your job? I am the Aways Wise, Ever Sexy, Overly Manly, Emperor (or A.W.E.S.O.M.E for short) of a town some way into the mountains, the pay is rather agreeable, I get whatever the villagers produce as a good faith present for not turning their houses into a hellish, nightmare world of fiery brimstone.

What do some of your duties that you do? I do quite a lot of teaching nowadays, for example just the other day a man stated that ‘I couldn’t get away with this forever’, which is of course totally incorrect, thus I taught him the truth by displaying a different part of his wife in the town square for the next week...I think he’ll remember correctly now.

Who do you trust out of everyone in the land? Well I am an incredibly trusting person and I am often reminded of how trustworthy everyone around me is. If I cut off their child’s leg they can generally be trusted to cry for a while and if I throw a bolt of lightning at them they can generally be trusted to die, so I’d say that there is very few people I don’t trust.

Who do you fear most in the land? Well you see, the fact that they are so trustworthy can often be their downfall as they can often be quite scary. The mess these people make when they explode is unbelievable, I swear they do it just to annoy me, this one bloke wouldn’t let go of my robes (wittering on about trade or the weather or something), in the end I had to blow him up just to get him to let go, had to kill three housewives until my robes were clean.

What do you think of the riders? The who? Oh THOSE blokes...well...I must admit to never having met one before...but I hear that their supposed to be some sort of big deal so who knows? I may leave my position of office and go to see what kind of mess they make...

What do you think of the Elves? HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAA....ha.....ohhh dear...thank you very much, you have just given me my giggle of the day, for that I will only saw one bit off.

What would you like to see happen in your country/race? I admit that there are some days when I just wish that they would all shut up and die so I can get on with more important things. One village in the middle of nowhere is hardly any fun at all when you get down to it, you would be surprised at just how quickly idea’s for punishment dry up, it can be potentially fatal for my motivation. Yesterday there was a man who had tried to stab me through the neck and I couldn’t even be bothered to kill him...I did eventually of course...but there wasn’t any passion in it.

Have you ever been in love? I never used to believe in something as quaint as love, but then I walked past a mirror...nuff said.

What is your dream? Right now this village is more like a small project, a model, practice. I wonder how well I would do at running the rest of the world...

[~Ninthroe~]

What is your name? Commander Mountainhammer. Lorren Mountainhammer, of ancient folk Lorr.. Hehe.. See what i did there? No? Ah, well.

How old are you? Too damn old to be a commander!! I'll be General soon, though, don't you worry.

What are you wearing? What is this, a dating circle? Umm.. Let's see.. Well here, i have my black leather armor, and here there's.. Some more.. Leather.. Armor.. And........ Yeah... Next question? Oh! And my sword.

What color is your hair and how do you wear it? You WEAR hair here?? Good Guntera, you humans are weird with your natural baldness and such.. My hair is a dirty blond. Yeah, dirty as in dirt, as in hard work, as in-

What color are your eyes? Hold on, let me check my sword's reflection.. Looks brown to m-

What is your job? Commander. Are you interrupting me on purp-

What are some of your duties that you do? Well, i train and operate my squadron, and i also-

Who do you trust of everyone in the- GUNTERA DAMN YOU WOMAN AND LET ME FINISH A BLAZIN' THOUGHT!!

. . . Who do you trust of everyone in the land? *sigh* . . . Indomitis. He's a good man, and an excellent comrade-in-arms.

Who do you fear most in the land? My mother.

What do you think of the Riders? What of them? They don't impact my life, or my King's. why should i concern my thoughts with them?

What do you think of the Elves? Our most deeply unnerving, most biting insults have to do with elves.. Enough said.

What would you like to see happen to your race? I would LOVE to see us become more open and interactive in Alagaesia. We have a lot to offer, and i think the world is missing out.

What is your dream? ([small]to become Hokage of the hidden leaf village!!![/small]) to become my King's General and right-hand man!

[.:[Crim]:.]

What is your name? My name is crim mi'lord
How old are you? twenty or so by human years
What are you wearing? my 'damnably complicated tunic' according to my wife.
What color is your hair and how do you wear it? My hair is pure white, although some fiend recently dyed it black... i must get her for that....
What color are your eye? do you mean my eyes? one is green one is gold. why would you ask the color of my eye? Did i become a cyclops?

What is your job? I dont really have one, right now i guess its traveling with Tellen.
What do some of your duties that you do? Oh i hunt cook do other things needed around camp.
Who do you trust out of everyone in the land? I would say Tellen, even though i know little of her, we are married after all.
Who do you fear most in the land? that would be my 'against her will magically bound' wife
What do you think of the riders? Never really met one. could be interesting though.
What do you think of the Elves? My name is Crim harrowmont! you killed my father! prepare to die!
What would you like to see happen in your country/race? I would like to see many things. but I'm not telling you that easy.

Have you ever been in love? I am married, and I dont really know, I think i may be starting to... but the idea of her father amuses and scares me.
What is your dream? Right then, this is over.