You Never Can Tell [OPEN]

[Emma]

If I had any more customers in here, I’d probably need to rent out a second building.

I leaned against the wall as I watched the patrons maraud the bar where my nephew, Helaku, had finally made himself useful. After days of slow business with nothing but aging criminals who deliberately nursed their drinks, I’d been on the verge of pulling all my hair out. It wasn’t just the bar that was slow, either- with rumours of Urgal movements to the south, I would have thought that people would be flocking to The Tears and filling my tavern, but apparently The Tears was a little too south for the likes of them. I’d nearly gone completely insane with despair.

However, today had been different. After giving my worthless nephew the bar so I could take a walk to cool off, I’d returned to find the Saloon happily bustling. I had no idea what he’d done to bring the entire city in here, but I wanted him to keep at it. I decided to plough my way over to Helaku, which was easier said than done- with milling thugs drunk beyond any form of coherent thinking, I had to dodge groping, fist fights, and the occasional accusation of being someone’s mother. By the time I finally reached the counter, I easily spotted Helaku- tiny for an elf at 5’7”, with a mop of blonde hair and a skinny form, he stuck out amid the roving humans. He had an enormous smile on his face as he passed tankards out by the dozen, failing to notice my arrival.

“Helaku, my brilliant one!” I gave him a rough slap on the shoulder. “The hell are you doing, kid? Giving ‘em away for free?”

And then I thought about what I’d just said for a moment.

“Mr. Kolbjorn?” Helaku looked at me nervously, his arms full of overflowing tankards. “Your face is a really creepy shade of purple.”
“Helaku,” I said tightly, forcing out a smile so huge I thought my lips would crack with the effort. “I notice there’s a lotta booze… and very little cash.”
“Well, yes…”
“Care to ‘splain yourself?”
“Well… you said we needed customers, and what better way to attract customers than by having a little free-for-all? Happy Hour?... Mr. Kolbjorn, you don’t look so good. Maybe you should lie down?”
“GET ‘EM BACK!” I roared. “GET ‘EM ALL BACK, RIGHT NOW!”
“Yes, sir! Unquestionably, sir!” He accidentally dropped a mug, shattering it.

Desperately trying not to wring Helaku’s neck like a wet rag or to scream at the patrons, I slowly sank into the nearest empty seat, burying my head in my arms. Clinging bitterly to the edge of the wooden table, I listened to Helaku apologetically informing the room that they actually would need to pay for all those drinks, and the groans of annoyance that followed. The clink of pennies put me a little bit at ease, but the much louder sound of half-empty tankards being returned and the masses sweeping out of the establishment quickly put me on edge again. When I finally worked up the courage to raise my head, I saw that the place was nearly empty. I collapsed onto the table again and swore into it.

I blamed those damned Riders. There was a big visit to the Countess here for no less than two weeks and as a result, it wasn’t just the Hive that had slipped away- even my regulars had been frightened off. Naturally, being the Riders, cowards and fops unlike any others, the Ilirean fools were doing little else than prancing around, attempting to bust the elusive Hive and pissing everyone off far, far too much. If they kept up this holier-than-thou act going on much longer, this was going to come to a stickier end than Palancar’s slow murder out near Leona Lake. I personally hoped it would happen sooner than later.

I heard the door chime as someone either entered or left the Saloon, but as I listened closely, I heard footsteps approaching. I may have disguised my ears to look human, but that didn’t mean I’d lost my fine-tuned elven hearing- though, admittedly, the constant clamour of this inn every day might have dulled it a bit. The footsteps came closer until coming to a stop- only a foot or two away from me, I realized. The figure remained silent, but I got the notion that they were waiting for something. Figuring it was just another peasant on the hunt for free booze, I didn’t bother looking up. Instead, I just ran a hand through my black hair and leaned backwards in my chair, my eyes closed.

“Welcome to Maleficent Saloon. Despite what my idiot nephew might have told you, we ain’t free. If you got a problem with that, go drink at the Muddy Rudder across the street. At least we don’t piss in our booze.”

Words;; 820
Muse;; REALLY BAD.
Thoughts;; EHHH... okay, not good. >.>

[ladymoth]

“You sound like a human” Ed’ noted as she walked to the back of the tavern. There was no point in whispering, the tavern was quite empty, save for another human boy who would not understand their elvish anyway. Though Kolbjorn wore that cloth to obscure his ears Ed’ still recognized him as an elf, as one beetle recognizes another (though it did not work for Helaku for his presence was so meek she had hardly even registered him.)

Ed continued to step lightly though the bar, her bare feet silently feeling out the path of lest resistance so that, like all elves should, she moved silently. Ed’ always walked like she had a pile of books on her head, which wasn’t too far from the truth back home, where in carrying water meant heaving a pole over your shoulders and walking with another pot on your head. Ed’ continued


“is it intentional, or a byproduct of living all the way down here?” she asked as she drew up a seat across from the beleaguered tavern owner. Ed’ was hardly one to strike up a conversation, she would much rather have listened in on another conversation, but since the tavern was so deserted she needed some way to start him speaking. She sat down across from him and ran her hands over her Sari, straightening out the jewelry on her wrists as she waited for him to speak.

Her mastermind wondered many things, was the human-boy in the corner smart enough to offer her a drink or would she have to ask? Was this elf across from her drunk? If so, was this what drunk looked like? How many beers would it take to get her drunk? Would she give too much away if she was drunk? If she did pass out what would they do with her? Her mind went on thusly as she waited, her face was not dead-pan but her emotions smoldered at the corners of her mouth and her eyes, fleeting and near invisible.

[veri]

i know your type
boy you're dangerous, yeah you're that guy i'd be
stupid to trust. but just one night couldn't be so wrong
you make me wanna lose control

- - - - - - - - - -

This was the absolute worst day of Veri's life. She had come to this filthy human town to visit an elven hive Shrike who was reporting back to the Queen about what the humans were doing, and got lost on her way back to where she was staying. The humans were obviously of no help, and she knew that if she asked, they would just send her in the wrong direction. She was dressed like her station, so that made people either want to rob her or avoid her. After a few threats of fireballs, most went for the latter.

Verisiel stopped at a building that seemed crowded with people, but as she approached many vacated the area. She raised an eyebrow in curiosity. She was rather thirsty, and this seemed like the least dirty place in the area. Maybe they're just have some clean water, then she could be on her way. She steeled herself and walked in.

A blonde teen tended the bar, looking very ashamed of himself. There was a pair of people - Verisiel paused. Elves! No doubt about it. But what were elves doing in a place like this? She frowned slightly. It made no sense to her why anyone would want to be here, but not everyone was born with her taste. She straightened herself up and took a seat near enough the pair that she could hear them, then looked at the blonde boy. Never having been to a bar, Veri didn't know that people didn't really wait on the customers the way she was expecting. She looked at her nails, and when no one immediately came over to her she looked a little annoyed.

- - - - - - - - - -

tag;; emma/kieran
outfit;; click.
status;; not done
notes;;
song credit;; good girls go bad -- cobra starship ft leighton meester
template credit;; me.

[Emma]

The soft feminine voice speaking the ancient language made my stomach clench and my throat tighten. I opened my eyes quickly and saw an exotic beauty hovering near me. At first I thought that I’d drunk myself into unconsciousness and was fantasizing about Alindra in the most perverse corners of my mind, but this woman’s features were more defined, her colouring darker, and her clothes were like nothing I’d ever seen before. She was also speaking the all-too-painful on the ears ancient language. Sitting up straight, I looked her up and down as she gracefully took a seat across from me.

Annoyed, I tried to focus on her foreign words. Though it was my first language, I’d spent so much time among humans that I no longer looked and sounded like them, but I was also beginning to think like them, and the ancient language brought back unpleasant memories. I also had no idea what an elf of all people was doing in The Tears. She was so well-groomed and dressed that she was obviously here of her own free will. There were elves like that in the Hive, but they were usually so emotionally destroyed like I was that there was little difference between them and a war-weary human.

When she was finished speaking, I turned my head slightly, glaring at her. She was looking around the tavern, at Helaku in particular, calculating her setting. Her particular interest in Helaku struck a note of worry within me. Had Myaja sent her here to watch me? Far be it from me to keep a child from his mother, especially when that mother was my own sister, but Helaku wouldn’t last two seconds with Myaja. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up killing him or beating every drop of kindness and common decency out of him. Not interested in being researched by her, I snapped my fingers loudly.

Helaku looked up from where he was savagely scrubbing the tables free of the more disgusting patrons’ grime and almost tripped on his feet getting to me. I placed a hand against my forehead and looked away from him, embarrassed, but at least it would remove any trace of suspicion. No elf, regardless of how he’d been raised, had the indignity and clumsiness to behave like my idiot nephew. Washcloth in his hands and terror smeared across his face, he came to a shaky halt and looked at me, and then at the woman. Upon seeing her, he looked shocked, and then dropped into a bow.

“Welcome, milady!” he quipped. “Atra esterní ono-”
I slapped him across the back of the head, hoping to knock some common sense into him. It seemed to work, because he immediately switched languages.
“I mean, I hope you’re doing well, ma’am,” he said hurriedly in the common tongue. “I’ll get you the special, if you’d be kind enough to wait a few minutes.”
“Ignore him.” I blatantly spoke in the common tongue as he scurried off. “He don’t know from nothin’.” I leaned in closer. “And t’answer your question, miss, I got no clue where you been at, but people don’t take kindly to elves round here. Even elves don’t take kindly to elves round here. So, yeah, we sound human.”

I would have said more, but at that moment another woman walked into the Saloon- again, one who was so staggeringly gorgeous and poised that my stomach twisted into a bigger knot. Clearly, this was going to be a very bad day for me. Blonde and blue-eyed without a mark of age or hardship on her, she gazed around my establishment like it was crawling with cockroaches and then looked somewhat surprised when she saw me and the woman. Even after all these years, I was still that recognizable as an elf? Either my age-old spell was wearing off or I’d been taking it too easy lately.

To make it worse, at least the one sitting across from me wasn’t snooty. This one actually just stood there and waited for someone to come break their back for her every whim. When no one did so, she assumed an irritable look and glared at her fingernails, obviously insulted. The mischievous jail bird I used to be suddenly rose up within me, and I was deeply tempted to blackmail Helaku into doing something like spilling beer on her. However, one scatterbrained elf broad loitering in very hot Hive territory could suffer much worse. Smirking, I motioned towards Helaku to serve her.

---

Feet aching and not having slept much the previous night, I was entirely hyper. I almost spilled the strange elf woman’s special, imported South Iberian wine, three times while pouring it into two eloquent chalices. I knew better than to question or even wonder what she was doing in the Saloon- Mr. Kolbjorn served high-ranking types all the time. We’d even had an Oracle come in here on special request of Malandra Ramakrishna several days ago. All I could do was keep her happy enough to give me a sizable tip. If so, Mr. Kolbjorn would let me off early today, and maybe let me even join Renata in Teirm.

Once I’d poured the drinks, I piled them on a silver platter and scurried out of the kitchens, desperately avoiding two of the working girls, Naima and Vesper, as they greeted me and asked me, for the millionth time, exactly when I would start chasing after them. Both were very pretty and very nice, but somewhat intimidating, and right now I was more concerned with keeping my uncle happy. I rushed out and back to the elf woman’s table, placing one chalice in front of her and the other in my uncle’s hand. Without speaking, he flicked his chin towards the front of the inn, his blue eyes icy.

I looked. A second elf woman lingered near the door, obviously waiting to be served. Just as beautiful as the first one, although in a more conventional way- the first was dark and exotic, while this one was tall and pretty- something about her was very off-putting. I approached her, tucking the silver platter underneath my arm and bowing politely. Careful not to greet her in the ancient language and risk ruining my disguise like I’d almost done with the first woman, I gave her my best charming smile and beckoned towards the somewhat disturbing amount of empty tables around us.

“Hullo, miss! Welcome to the Saloon. I’ll be serving you today. If you’d like to take a seat, I can offer you our best drinks?”

Words;; 1100
Muse;; TERRIBLE.
Thoughts;; Even worse than the first one. -headdesk-

[ladymoth]

Ed` cringed as the drunken elf snapped his fingers, the sound rung in her elven ears. The human boy dithered around the tavern and Ed` mused that he was quite unsteady on his feet, or perhaps he just seemed clumsier because she was surrounded by elves. When the boy got to the table he unexpectedly bowed low, said something very fast in human, but then, clearly in the ancient language, the boy started to greet her. Ed` looked openly shocked, the boy was an elf; she could just about see his elven features under all the grime that coated his face. All of a sudden she was overwhelmed with pity for his clumsiness and stupidity, perhaps the human world was the best place for a creature like him. “Atra esterní ono thelduin” she replied, drawing herself away from him and looking away, ignoring the rest of what he said, she was simply trying her best to conceal her surprise.

The drunken elf made it easier on her, as he ordered her to ignore him. With some difficulty she listened to what he had to say, her mind whirring to keep up with this quick human language. Human language was so hurried, probably because they were so short lived, she mused. “I use my sari to cover my ears, I avoid speaking elvish to the humans, and I know some English” she said, again in the ancient language. Ed` felt quite foolish when she had to be reprimanded what by a drunken elf, if she’d have planned more before she ran away this may not have happened, she should have read a book on disguises, perhaps.

Just then however Veri came through the door, and elf who had no problems with letting others know what she was. ‘one elf a la mode’ thought Ed’ (or at least the elvish equivalent of ‘a la mode’) as Veri walked inside. Ed` straightened herself out even more, if such a thing were possible, and immediately swung her head the other way as if looking upon such beauty was a privilege quite above her station. Ed’ thought nothing of Veri’s haughty look, for she had not seen it, all she had seen was the latest elven fashion, no doubt that dress was made by Cas`rua, most elves would kill their parents for a dress made by that elf… and why wasn’t she wearing large earrings? Were large earrings garish now? Should she take hers off? Her hand wandered up to one of her peacock tail earrings and she stroked the colorful silky barbs of the feathers down to the tip with a far off look in her eyes.

Ed` shaken out of her trance when the sad human-like elf put a chalice on the table in front of her. She lifted it to her face and sniffed it, alcohol smelt like it always did, rather strong and disgusting. “Perhaps you have some… pointers?” Ed` suggested to the elf in front of her” It amused her that the young one had given him a drink without even asking if it was what he wanted, but it was also rather sad.

(ps: happy halloween!)

[veri]

i know your type
boy you're dangerous, yeah you're that guy i'd be
stupid to trust. but just one night couldn't be so wrong
you make me wanna lose control

- - - - - - - - - -

Verisiel looked at the two where she was standing at the door out of the corner of her eye and wondered what they were doing here. If they had been to Ellesméra in the past hundred years or so, they would know her as the Countess. If they hadn't... well, Veri didn't want to think why an elf wouldn't have been to the capital in a hundred years. Suddenly the little blonde boy came scurrying up to her and bowed.

“Hullo, miss! Welcome to the Saloon. I’ll be serving you today. If you’d like to take a seat, I can offer you our best drinks?”

Best drinks. That was more like it. Though Veri highly doubted that their 'best drink' would be equal to Ellesméra's worst. She looked at him, then walked toward a table. She moved like water, all grace and poise, like most of her race. She pulled a kercheif from her dress and dusted her chair off, then sat down. She looked like a queen in her throne as she dropped the piece of cloth on the table and looked at the blonde boy expectantly.

- - - - - - - - - -

tag;; emma/kieran
outfit;; click.
status;; not done
notes;; this sucked. that's what i get for posting so early, but i won't have time later. =[
song credit;; good girls go bad -- cobra starship ft leighton meester
template credit;; me.

[Emma]

I glared into the dark liquid of my wine after Helaku placed it into my hand, pondering exactly why I was giving two elf bitches my good wine when I really should have been saving it for the next time a Shrike, or Nyx forbid the Queen, decided to pay a visit to my establishment again. Pressing my lips into a thin line, I raised the chalice to my lips and took a long draught, enjoying the cool drink as it went down my throat. The woman in front of me was looking at hers with a great deal of disdain, irritating me further. If she didn’t want it, she could at least hand it over so I could drink myself to death.

“Perhaps you have some… pointers?” she said after a while. I gave her my best death glare and tilted my head, trying to see if she was for real. Then I smirked.
“Well, mi figlia de butana, it’s pretty damned simple. First, ya open your mouth. I can imagine that ain’t too tough on you, considering it’s open all the time. Next, ya gotta raise it to your lips an’ tip it. An’ the rest is up to nature. Now…” I rose to my feet, putting my wine on the table. “Maybe just hidin’ those ears is enough for you, butmy customers are gonna notice your bony face and your accent. ‘Scuse me while I go and educate them a little. My shlub nephew will see to ya.”

I turned on my heel and left, darting into the back room. With the customers gone, so had most of my staff, but there was one man I knew would be here no matter what. Valkyn, a half-elf that had dropped his House name after being kicked out of Du Weldenvarden, had taken up residence in the Saloon shortly after his exile. He’d been a writer over there, and therefore proved to be a fantastic forger that more than earned his keep. That wasn’t why I was seeing him, though. He’d been banished a mere two years ago, and would probably know exactly who the hell the two women I was now dealing with were.

I took the steps three at a time and quickly found my way to the attic, where he resided. The aging floorboards creaking beneath my feet and my boots thumping loudly, I pulled down the trap door and climbed up into it without bothering to knock. Valkyn had been put on death row after his race had been discovered, but had escaped thanks to his sister. We kept him indoors for that very reason, which was fine by him- he was so enamoured by writing that he rarely left his room. When he saw me, however, I knew what was coming. Valkyn also loved people, and letting them know just how loved they were.

Six-foot-seven and nearly as wide with muscles, I was promptly crushed in an enormous embrace and nearly stabbed in the shoulder with a quill that somehow retained pristine despite being constantly clutched in the hands of such a large and affectionate man. Feeling my temper rising, I carefully counted down the seconds he had remaining for the hug before I would reach up and snap his neck. Along with the embrace came a very, very long rant of how wonderful it was to see me that I tuned out.

“Lieutenant, how about hearing about my latest book?!” He finally shut up/
“No.” My voice was muffled.
“Ideas for a new one?”
“No. Just no.”
“Sad day.” He finally released me, which was just as well, because I had begun to consider breaking his face off. “What do you need? I am always happy to-”
“Come with me,” I hissed.
“Oh… very well.”

I stormed down the steps again with the exiled half-elf in tow, pulling him into the kitchen and irritably beckoning towards both elf women. Valkyn glanced at me quizzically.

“Them!” I snarled. “Who the hell are dese skanks?”
“Edoc’silmati Ekarlaufsbläd and Verisiel Vanya,” he stated flatly.
“Oh.” I dropped my arm. “And they are…?”
“One’s the daughter of a powerful lord, the other the countess of Ellesméra. You must have at least heard of Verisiel, Lieutenant?”
“… no. But thank you. Get back to your goddam ink stains.”

---

The woman just looked at me before turning away and heading off to pick out a table. I tottered after her. I was used to being generally ignored by people as high-up as she was, so it didn’t bother me any. She looked at the seat she picked out with a gaze of disapproval before pulling out a hankie and wiping it down, and then finally seating herself like it was a throne. Then, she turned her blue gaze on me. Now that I truly got to look at her, I could see that she truly was beautiful, and awkwardness briefly knotted up my tongue. Forcing myself past it, I hurriedly began to list some fine wines.

“The Southern Iberian is very popular, but Nihonese rice wine is what you’re looking for if you want to go exotic. We also have some Ivorian-”
“Give her the Wisteria!” An arm wrapped itself around my back, and I found myself being pulled close to my uncle in an almost unheard-of display of affection. When I looked up at him, I was shocked to see that he was smiling, too. “Wouldn’t wanna disappoint such an important customer, do we? In fact…” he grabbed my shoulders and twisted me around to face the other elf. “Take that Iberian bull off the lovely bonita’s hands and give her some, too!”
“Uncle, I thought you hated elves. Have you been drinking? And isn’t the Wisteria only for the Shri-”
“Yes, no, and screw them, we’re dealin’ with hotshots now.” He pressed a key into my hand and pushed me, sending me spinning towards the back room. “An’ hurry up!”

I stumbled towards the wine cabinet, pulling the heavy oaken doors apart and reaching inside to where we kept our richest wines, unlocking the compartment with the heavy iron key. Wisteria had to be at least four-fifths hard alcohol, but it had also had such strong exotic fruits that it was more cocktail than wine. It didn’t dilute the alcohol, though, and it got even an elf drunk very, very quickly. It was also the exact colour of wisteria, a pale violet flower Renata was fond of. Removing two bottles and hastily popping the corks, I ran back towards the tables, taking three flutes as I went.

When I emerged, I placed the flutes on a table, pouring the Wisteria and then making my rounds to the two elf women and my uncle. When I was finished, his face clearly told me that he wanted me to go away. I did so, scurrying back into the kitchen. I stopped, hovering by the still-open cabinet. I looked at the other bottle of Wisteria, and unable to resist, took a glass and poured it inside. I sipped it cautiously, and then coughed and sputtered. Figuring it was more of an acquired taste, I sipped it again, and again, and again. Then, I found myself giggling for no apparent reason, and continued to drink.

Words;; 1215
Muse;; Surprisingly good!
Thoughts;; Ending was rushed, but it's a big improvement from the other two. =)

[ladymoth]

Ed` raised one solitary eyebrow. She had no idea she came off as a chatter box. She had literally only said five things (her mind was good at keeping track of useless information) since she walked in, and several of those were replies to the statements of others. She said nothing though, she was not the sort of girl who scoffed, but if she were this would have been the time and the place. She just sat in silence, which must have been agreeable to the drunken fool, and kept eye contact with him; glaring eye-contact. Her eyes flicked down to the alcohol then she picked up the chalice and downed it in one- or at least that was the plan. What happened was two fast glugs, an echoed sputter (being that it happened while her face was still to the rim of the drink,) and several smaller slower sips that lasted a painfully long time. It was like medicine; why would anyone drink this of their own free will?

Where did that ruggedly handsome elf go? Ed` thought to herself as she put her chalice back on the table and looked around. It had seemed he disappeared. She had been wondering why she could no longer hear the sound of him talking. She got to her feet and walked over to the other female elf. She sat down on the chair across from her and tucked her legs up to her chest, her toes gripping the lip of the seat; yah this was the way to sit. “You’re really pretty” she told the blond elf, what an insightful complement. She didn’t see the female elf’s reaction to her complement, because just then she heard her name. “He’s an Archduke, and he’s not powerful… he’s kind of scrawny” she tittered at her own play on words. She was hilarious. The elf who got her father’s title wrong was wide, and almost familiar; he would have to had to meet her to know her by the way she looked because she had never once left Du Andlatlíf. She struggled to place him, tilting her head to the side in an effort to keep her brain whirring.

It was as if her brain was running at half mast, all of her thoughts were so slow; and not at well put together in the slightest. “You’re really fat” she noted, she had meant… that word where you’re big, but not fat, it defiantly something to do with being fit. Registered in the corner of Ed`’s mind was the fact that a moment or two had passed and more shots were served by that young dowdy elf; it was not long after that happened that he disappeared into the back room. Ed` stared at new drink in front of her, and wondered if she was drunk enough to cross “get drunk” off her to do list. “In for a penny” she mumbled to herself and picked the drink up finishing it like she did the first; with little pleasure.

(yah, one drink, Ed` is a lightweight.)

[ladymoth]

Ed` staggered out, drunk.